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French Swearing |
Ahh... There's all these millions of people across the country who are learning to speak French- and hardly any of them are learning the really important things. The things that aren't in the phrase books. The things that would make your average secondary school french teacher blush and go all wobbly.
I've been living in France for three years, and I've been at school there for two of them. Schoolchildren are probably the heaviest users of swearwords In The World. Espescially French ones.
So, chuck those irregular verbs in the bin for a while, and have a look at this.
"Nom de dieu de putain de bordel de merde de saloperie de connard d'enculé de ta mère."
-The Merovingian, Matrix Reloaded
Say that five times fast...
That guy also said, "I have sampled every language, French is my favorite. Fantastic language, especially to curse with. It's like wiping your arse with silk." He's right. Not that I'd know about the last bit.
If I translated that (which I won't), it'd come out as a horribly clumsy string of words which would sound just awful. But in French, you can string everything together and it sounds really nice. Well, not really nice, but really... vicious.
The French swear All The Time. It's like living in a nation of truck drivers. You start at primary school age and go on until you can't any more. So it's vital to know how to do it properly if you ever go there... sooner or later, you're going to get yelled at and you're going to need to yell back. If you're sitting comfortably...
Con
This is the classic insult, the father of them all. It means idiot, loony, nitwit, dummy, dork... anything you want it to mean, basically. Can be extended to connard on special occasions (translation: all the time). And you don't say t'es un con, it's t'es con. Conne in the feminine.
Never yell at people and use vous. Even if you're yelling at the President, use tu. He won't mind, as you're yelling at him anyway...
Salaud
A bit more serious; equivalent of "bastard." Usually used by girls while yelling at boys. I don't think there IS a feminine...
Pute
The opposite- can only be applied to girls. Knowing that, I think you can guess what it means. Salope means a similar thing.
Enculé
Now, this is guaranteed to get your victim upset. I'm not going to explain what it means- cul means "arse," so work it out for yourself...
Espèce de...
Stick anything onto the end of this- Espèce de con, Espèce de salaud... Just means, "you are a...," or "you dirty...."
Fils de...
Same as before, means "son of." The classic is fils de pute, fils de chien is less serious.
And finally,
va te faire...
Can be used with any verb- va te faire enculer, va te faire foutre. Means "go... yourself." Foutre is the classic verb for insulting people, means anything you want it to... qu'est ce que tu fous là, what the **** are you doing here, is useful.
Merde!
Another classic. Which I'm not translating either. Variation: bordel de merde. Bordel de... can just be hooked on to the end of anything...
Putain!
Comes from pute.
Saloperie!
Comes from salope.
De, as in the Matrix example, is useful for stringing things together... and de ta mère can be stuck on to the end of anything.
Mon Dieu! or Nom de Dieu!
My God, and so on.
And that's the basics! Have fun yelling at people... and it's useful in England, as well, 'cos no one will understand a word...